Moving on From COZAGate
Now, as the dust settles on the Fatoyinbo-Dakolo saga (believe it or not), the Nigerian society has successfully moved on to the next distraction. While the saga lasted, it served its own purpose of distracting us from things that really mattered. Before you start getting all sorts of ideas, let me state that I consider rape and other forms of sexual abuse as really serious. But while we were all busy screaming back and forth, several other cases are occurring. That of an Islamic cleric had been reported, and scores of others that never see the light of day. So why then do I consider the Fatoyinbo-Dakolo saga a distraction? Because it only addresses the symptom of a deadly disease eating out our society.
A thing anybody might have noticed in the past few days is a staggering number of revelations we’ve heard/read about sexual abuse. It seems everyone has experienced in a way or the other, some form of sexual abuse. And though it appears funny (or not funny), the reputation of the male gender has suffered a deep plunge. Maybe rightly so. But we have asked ourselves, how so many men, across different social, religious, political and economic planes seem to possess that predatory monster that preys on our ladies/girls. Can it biological? I doubt so. The only way I see this is sociological.
Yes! You seem to agree something is wrong with our society. But wait, who and who is the society? You see, a man is a product of what he’s fed. That is both physically and psychologically speaking. How can our society be worried about men’s randy and abusive tendency and not be concerned about what births it? Pornography is at the tip of a man’s fingers and you expect him to be decent towards ladies? The only thing that can hinder you from seeing how this negatively affects men is hypocrisy. The several fantasies sold to men in the name of porn is what a lot of them seek to fulfill in the most vulnerable female they can find around.
While pornography might be an obvious problem to any reasonable individual, the use of the female sexual appeal for advertorial purposes is a very subtle contributor to the woes of our men. Yes, we love women and are attracted by them. This obvious weakness has been extremely exploited by businesses. And not only those but even some churches. I know a number of roommates that attended a fellowship because of the way their ushers dress. It is time we stop commercialising a natural appeal man have for women. You cannot whet a man’s appetite for the female body and expect him to hold his hunger. Feminists especially need to address this.
Finally, we must not get the impression that only women suffer from sex abuse. Boys suffer it from women all the time. In our approach to curb this menace, it is most advisable not to be sexist. Parents should protect their male and female children equally. Again, it is a relief to finally move to the next distraction. May we outgrow the fear to confront the real issues.
ABOUT THE WRITER
Kayode Oyeyemi Akinwumi studied Yoruba at Obafemi Awolowo University. A music enthusiast, social observer and music freak. His writes on various interests including social commentary and popular culture.